Difficult People
15January 26, 2018 by Aleksandra Łuczak
Author: a Kozminski Unversity student
We try to get along with other people but in many cases we seem to be on different wavelengths or the atmosphere seems to be tense when some people are in the room near us. In these situations we have to face difficult people who put us down and bring our mood down with their pessimism, distrust and anxiety.
It can be extremely difficult to deal with negative people. One solution is to ignore and walk away from them. But it is not that simple. We could walk away from a salesman with a bad attitude or from an angry agent.
Unfortunately, we cannot walk away from a parent, a spouse or a friend with a negative attitude. In those cases more practical approach is needed. First of all, we have to start by understanding the reasons for their negativity. Mostly negativity has its roots in fears. These fears includes being disregarded by others, deprived of love and another fear that bad things might happen. It isn’t hard to understand why people with fears have the problem to trust other people. Difficult people with negative approach do not feel respected, loved enough and don’t feel control over their lives. The resolution is to make them see the sources of the negativity. The next step is to make them realize that their negativity has more to do with their attitude then with objective perception of the word. It is important to fix the subconscious and thought habits that highlight the negativity.
We can show the compassion and support for negative people but we have to be mature and responsible for our own happiness despite the negativity of other people. We should make sure that we will not be sucked into their world full of pessimism and negativity.
How do you deal with difficult people, what is your approach?
Have your say!
Category miscellaneous | Tags:
I am surrounded by many negative and difficult people. They often make me nervous and spoil my temper. I often try to talk with them, explain what they are doing wrong. Unfortunately these people don’t see themselves guilty. It means that conversation is not a good way to solve the problem. Only when everyone turns their backs on them, they see that they are doing some mistakes in their behavior. If you want to help such people you should show them, that the way they are going will bring them consequences.
Negative people? I have heard something and I have met many difficult people.
It is inevitable in our lives that every day we can meet people who are negatively oriented to life. My advice ? There is no golden mean for it. Every time I meet with such a situation, I try to understand their position as well as talk with these people.
It is worth noting that sometimes it is not worth spending too much time and compassion on such people, because it can very often turn against us.
It is an interesting and important question. All of us live and work with many different people with different attitudes. It is the worst if the person close to us has a negative attitude. Especially then it is difficult to keep a healthy distance and not get infected with a negative approach. My way to deal with such situation is empathy and sense of humor. This seems trivial, but a smile often helps to improve the atmosphere.
There are many different people around us and most of them want to bring us down with bad energy and their behavior. My way to deal with that kind of people is just to avoid them. Simple as that. Also I am trying to surround myself with people that I respect and I can develop my passion with them.
To my mind, every one of us has to live his own life, not someone’s else. Every person is individual, with his own goals, values , feelings and experiences. Each of us sees and perceives this world in his own way. Awareness of this gives an opportunity to abstract from world’s negatives and bad people.
I used to think you can help everyone and that by being mean and negative these people try to send some signals that they’re unhappy and need help. The older I get the more I understand that simply in this world there are rude and negative people just because and that they don’t want neither my help nor to change. My simple advice is to avoid them and cut them out of your life. If you know that that person is struggling with something the best option is to get professional help for them and just be there to support.
I guess there is no propriate way to deal with negative people. In my opinion you need to cut them off or limit contact with them as much as you can. I understand it can be hard if negative person is someone from your close enviroment but I know for a fact that people like that are no likely to change. Life is too short to let someone influence you in such negative way
All of us meet negative people sometimes. It is inevitable in today’s society overhelmed by so called ‘rat race’. But first of all, we should consider the reason why these people spread the negative aura. Sometimes there is a serious problem hiding behind their behaviour, as they may abreact their personal issues with rude attitude towards others. In such cases we can think how we could help them, yet we should be careful so their troubles don’t pull us down too. An honest conversation can help a lot since it doesn’t cost us anything, shows our concern and empathy and finally, prevents us from judging such people hastily.
Yet, pretty often wrong attitude comes from jealousy and undervalued self-esteem. Then it is waste of our time and energy to interact with such people more than we are compelled to. My best advice is to simply cut them off and enjoy our lives surrounded by those, who truly want to be in it.
I don`t consider this phenomenon as any kind of a problem. As far as I know all of us surround themselves with people we like, love or respect in some way. This is our choice, we don`t have to spend any time with people that have bad influence on our lifes. But on the other hand i think it`s simply wrong to close yourself on others, because then you can miss someone great in your life. It depends on us and I`m well aware of the fact that if you treat other people with lack of respect, anxiety or distance then they are going to treat you in the same inappropriate way and this is what we`re calling vicious circle.
I have met many difficult people in my life and I have learned that the only solution is to cut off contact with them for my own mental peace. People who destroy self-esteem, self-confidence, prevent us from acting, manipulate and criticize will never be those on whom you can count in difficult situations, they will be glad that we have problems and difficulties. From such people it is necessary to flee in order to protect one’s positiveness.
It’s very difficult to be near a person who constantly thinks negatively. And it becomes even worse when this person is a close one to you. Unfortunately, sometimes it happens that a man becomes reserved with all his bad emotions and doesn’t let friends or close people help him. And he doesn’t care if you listen to him or not, try to be supportive or not. You’re trying to say that everything is okay, but he doesn’t hear you. You may keep trying but step by step you will be involved in this negative and you will start seeing only the worse even in little things. I believe that no one can help such person until he realizes that something needs to be changed.
Choosing between a paper book and e-book my vote will always be for a paper one. I strongly believe that it’s much better than an e-book because every paper book keeps its story. This is the page where the author left a note to himself and this one has a mark on his favorite quote. Every book has its own style, font, page color while e-book can be adjusted for everyone. A book is a way to communicate. There used to be a practice when someone had finished reading his book he left it in the park, for example, with some notes and marks and anyone could “borrow” it. There’re a lot of stories when a book with notes from dozens of different people came back to its owner and I find this amazing. You feel like you know these people with all their thoughts. An e-book has some advantages as well. It’s not so heavy, it’s cheaper and we do not harm the nature. But still, it cannot be compared with a paper book.
Difficult people have always been problematic and hard to deal with. In my opinion there is no point to make any relations with them if u don’t have to. It always leads to quarrels and ends bad because of their specific point od view. Fortunately I don’t met them very often but if i do im listless to them or I even avoid them. This behavior caused that I suround myself only with positive people and it sovles all my problems with difficult people.
During my lifetime I had to deal with a lot of difficult people. Many of them, even with provided help couldn’t deal with their fears or insecurities. There’s people that want to change and the ones that feeds on other person misery. The first category is worth to fight for, they can see their own mistakes and will work to change it. Second one, this is a tougher one. The best solution is cutting off any toxic relation. Sometimes it’s not possible, the person can be your family, a close one. The most important thing in that case is not to let them take over your life. Make your own choices, work on yourself, don’t listen to them even if you sometimes feel they are right. It’s never going to change. I’m sure every one of us heard the phrase policeman on tv shows use when they catch a criminal – “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law”. This phrase is also present in daily life with those kind of people. So just be careful with what you say or do and don’t care of their opinion.
Of course, life goes like that we have a negative people around us. When I was at school I have a lot of them, but I learned how to ignore people whom I can’t help. If a meet person and see that he influenced on me negatively I stop communicating with him.
It will most certainly bring you down if you focus too much on your negative friend’s problems. You need to understand that their problems is not yours
Don’t let the emotions stay stuck in your body.
Eventually, if you met such a person, the best decision is just to stay calm and change the atmosphere.